Make My Payday!

“...the impudent Chweebian river otter.”

Field journal of Hannah Schmidt 

Curriculum Vitaes

Bulletin: The Ministry congratulates the promotion of Hannah Schmidt to Department Chair of Cryptozoology. The position was last held by her uncle, Prof. Hasphaean Schmidt who has yet to return from his (unauthorized) expedition to the Northern Wilds.

Ms. Schmidt was previously a journalist at the Langston Daily where she wrote award winning feature stories on Chweebian and human interactions.  She was also the youngest human staff to be personally selected by the Cryptid Lapis Leporidae to serve on that famous Chweebian rescue mission during the War of the Locust Queen.  Ms. Schmidt is also the only other human, besides her uncle, to have mastered Chweespeak, a skill that makes up for her lack of academic credentials.

Mother of Wumpus

Binty's Emporium Weekly Feature:

The 1st Anniversary Commerative Plaque of
Queen Wumpus,

Sentry of the Golden Realm,
on her ascension to the Endless Meadow.

Silver etching inlaid with Aucturian marble.

Be the first to own this highly collectible, limited production.

Only 200 available!

Call Mr. Bix Leporidae of 116 Langston Lane

to place your order.

(Pay in Lychees only)

  

New Hire

Mr. Ting (Vulpini),

I have discovered the cause
of the shortfall in
inventory and sales.

See attached ad
which was featured in
the discount section
of the Langston Weekly.

Please advise. 

QM Bix (Leporidae)
Binty's Emporium

Model T

I've been 'drawn' to these figures on my evening train commute. What shall we call them?


Mr. Ting,
No rhymes the reason,
Our Ma'wahng sprang away,
Beep, squeak and giggles,
Gone too, the Chweebian lute and fiddle!

~ Mr. Reinhart.

Ruler of This Vast Domain

Chapter 3

(r) Possibly one of the five silver Penterras that once
orbited above the throne of the Locust Queen.
Note the layer of mist swirling around the globe.

"...I emerged partially from the second floor portal which was just wide enough for my hat but not the rest of me to squeeze through. The cryptid was quite tickled by the effect of my predicament.

Glancing about the chamber like a dispossessed periscope, I stopped at the sight of several artifacts which may be the most significant archaeological find of our time. (If I survive the Northern Wilds to present my case) 

The field journal of
Hasphaean Schmidt

Snacks

The Proprietor of Binty's Emporium.

Mr. Bix
muttered something between bites.

Mr. Ting has a stick...

St. Justinian Fairfax Vulpini

"...pretending not to notice the creature that had been silently tailing me since I left the valley; levitating...the apparition didn't alarm me (these are the Northern Wilds after all) ...more baffled by the Cryptid's monastic robe."

Partially legible log entries
of Hasphaean Schmidt

Sharp-beaked Pecarin

"Sing Oh Chweebians,
for the Beams of Da'e*
and bid me shine
your Sapindaceae!"
*Dandelion Nebulae

~~~~~~~~

Yet another startling tomograph, recovered from the wreckage of Professor Schmidt's cabin in the Northern Wilds. The print shows a Chweebian Leporidae (aka Nimble Nwee) harvesting lychees with the aid of a living 'pruner'; a tool fashioned from a pole and the surgical snippers of a sharp-beaked Pecarin.

Marshland Sprite...

"You could see the Dandelion Nebula in those days"
said the wistful Binty Nestaloo

East of Eden

Neither Cherub nor Hesperidae
may guard Salvation's Tree
But Mah-ma-moot the Guileless
most Gentle of the Nwees
~
Host of Seraphims (Lord of Two Trees)

The Road to Reverie Bay...

In which St. John Bartholomew tames
the Nephilim's gruesome appetite

The LoTT is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
When evil men advance against me
to devour my flesh,
they will stumble and fall.

~ Chweebian Psalms 27:1-3

Shang Dynasty Flying Urns...

...are all the rage right now!

There's nothing more thrilling than provoking the local constabulary into a high speed chase!

Now Hiring

Part time Office Manager with Binty's Emporium. Light clerical and phone duties. Generous monetary compensation and sign on bonus (in Lychees)

Before Romulus...

"I daresay that Plutarch’s seemingly original ‘Luperca Wolf Goddess and the Twins’ was in fact lifted from ‘Wumpopo and the Three Princes’."

Prof. Haesphean Schmidt.

The Devotions of...

Justinian Farnyx Vulpini

“Our Farthest who arc the heavens,

a Hollow full of distant flames.

The Sedum's plumb,

with rills and bumps

on earth as it is in heaven. ”

Sylphs Take Form...

... for a peck of bread.

Thou shalt not...

Wumpopo

Wumpopo loves a napping spree
through dales by brook
a shimmering dream.

The Lay of Binty Nestaloo

-------------------------

"The elusive Ursidae Ailuropoda Magnus
(or simply, Wooty Bah Wumpus)
is among the few land mammals to have survived
the diluvian event of the Aucturian age.
My research into this resilient animal
has uncovered several genetic traits
which should interest the Ministry's Chimera...[illegible]"

~ last field entry
by the aforementioned and still missing
Prof. Haesphean Schmidt.

The Northern Wilds

Professor Haesphean Schmidt,
noted cryptozoologist and author of
the children best-seller "I Love Me Wumpus!"
was last seen taking an ill-advised trail
into the Northern Wilds.

It wasn't till the following summer
when a frontiersman discovered this
surviving portrait of Schmidt and other valuables
scattered about a debris mound

of the Giant Magpie.

~
Chweebian

Chweebus Flight

JB Peddler. Rescued.

Chweebian

As I Recall...

As I Recall

Stranded on Mt. Morpheus,
I sat down on a rock,
Carefully unlacing my left boot
Then rolling down my sock.

I pulled a pebble from my toe,
And studied it some time,
Uncertain where I stepped on it–
Whose dream: yours, or mine?

Splendidly Improved and Generously Supplied by

Our Most Esteemed Reader,

Eric Thomas Norris

Evening Song

We can only guess where the Tishbee Boy was at sunset.

~
We shall race the clouds and stars,
Through billows of red and pillars of blue,
To finish at the Sacred Hour,
Where Lord Chweebus waits for you.
~
Chweebian

Thomas Nguy

A Nwee Haus for TWO

The Bascillus Golgii Giganta
is just one of many wondrous Epiphytic Cultures that thrive on
the mighty boughs of the Sacred Perch.

These giant nodules are believed to serve some vital symbiotic function though there is no expert consensus
on what that is exactly.

Chweebian

Thomas Nguy

In January

Thomas Nguy

In Esau's Land

The Road to Reverie Bay leads through

a quiet northern country.

Give heed, Pilgrim Peddler,

to the Voice of the Sacred Perch

who counsels your every step.

The Highlands of Aarktilla,

with its pleasant air and golden grass,

can give way to false slopes and hidden Hang-Hoys

Thomas Nguy
Chweebian

They That Wait...

They that wait upon the LoTT,
shall renew their strength,
They shall mount up on wings
of the Chwee-gulls!
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.
Teach me LoTT, teach me LoTT
to wait.

Chweebian

Suds of Baetis

A favor, Oh Nimble One!
Take what's left of a once Great Sea,
And make worship Buh-bles
to Chweebus for me.

~
As the Sea of Baetis receded over the ages, it left some of its foam-spelled waters in the pools of shoreline caves. The Nwees were the first Cryptids to be inculcated in the Votive of Suds which is performed for any person who can meet their singular appetite for that genera of Sapindaceae.

Chweebian

The White Wren said...

Sleep...

“A man who tends this season,

may sing, ‘The Yip-Sip! Boo-deep’ ”

Chweebian

Manic Blue Lines...

My manic blue lines are constantly veering off to strange vistas.

“Did you get all that?”, she interrupted.

I flipped the pad to start a clean sheet and apologized, “Could you repeat that again?”

Boon

At a stone altar bearing the likeness of the Diety,
a member of the Nimble Race calls to LOTT.
Observe the Lady's offering of that most pleasing fruit.
By which her child secures a lasting benediction.

Chweebian

A Portentous Sight

A guest house where Lychees are served,
something portentous appears
atop an aspen tree.
(embiggen+)

There is a Savor

There is a Savor

When Soy is pressed,

Its eyes are moistly,

Its words are breast,

The Peach, its marrow

Sucked yesterday

There is a Savor

My toys expressed!

Original Form

‘A Nwee's Savor’

Thomas Webster 1847 : Village Choir

‘Savor’ * ‘Savior’

It is a little known fact that B.Farrell's popular hymn “There is a Savior” is an appropriation (some would say, misappropriation) of an established Chweebian chorus. 

While vacationing in the district of Canshurlark some thirty years ago, Farrell had purchased a music sheet from an enigmatic peddler. An honest fellow then, Farrell sought the permission of the author(s) of that strange ditty to adapt its tune with pious lyrics. 

Farrell, a devout Baptist, would not have persisted in the endeavor nor boasted of his purchase had he discovered the piece was penned by otherworldly cryptids who possessed more than just the power of speech.

The villagers of that borderland, however, were aware of the object's arcane origins. And being fearful of the exposure to such enchantment, withdrew their hospitality from Farrell and with some violence cast him out. “There is a Savior” remains inaccurately credited to this day.

Chweebian 

An Interlude

Oh we've been too vexed off late

to pen rhymes and poesies

with all this rain, thunder

and sounds of scattered sheeps.

But as this Wodswold Vicar

would remind us...

“Attend, Children of the Tree.

Though sorrows

like sea billows roll

Look up!

For Chweebus still loves thee!”

Chweebian

Sigil of the LOTT

Guided by the Chweebus Light. 

St. John Bartholomew, Pilgrim Peddler, when his path had strayed, recalled a suitable prayer.

The trade had so pleased the Nimble Folk,

their Grand Yahkoot bequeathed to him, 

a talisman which is said to have belonged 

to the Lord of Two Trees. 

He was also instructed in

several invocations and choruses, 

by which the amulet may display 

its purpose and power.

Chweebian

The Peddler's Challenge

The Peddler had in his loot strange paperback apocryphas,

eschatological pamphlets and Chweebian hymn sheets.

"Howl muchh izzz dat?" pointed the Nwee at a little pink cover.

"Free for the Nwee,

if he could recite the title!" challenged the Peddler.

Chweebian 

Weaning the Nwee

Sweet nectar of the Sacred Perch,

Make drowsy the fussy baby,

with dreams of Chweebian Reveries.

The Sacred Perch

The great Tishbee writes in his memoir,

of how, as a truant youth,

he chanced upon the Sacred Perch of Chweebuses

who revealed to him two virtues.

Honesty and Diligence.

Chweebian Anthology

I am the YipSip!

"I am,
the Yipsip! Boo-dip!
Tree-lip! True-yip!
Sky asunder!
Earth makes thunder!"

The words of this popular rhyme are inscribed on a half-leaning stele in Everette, a coastal village in the county of Canshurlark.

Not A Nwee, But A Dwee

The Dance of Leaps 

makes giggles and the Roti flat.

The Dainty Dwee

belongs to the genus as the Nimble Nwee,

But that's where the similarity ends.

For the Dwees make fancy rituals

of their sweetest victuals.

On the Origins of Reverie Bay

"The Hesperides were assigned to a quiet place on the western edge of the known world. Poet Stesichorus believed this land to be Tartessos which was marked by a wide bay. The existence of this bay is corroborated by other ancient sources; notably the Phoenicians, Myceneans and Sumerians. "

Chweebian : Geographic Survey

Ning's Dread Sway

I rather have Chweebus,
than silver or gold,
I rather have Dwee,
than riches untold.
I rather have Chweebus,
than anything,
this world affords today.
Than to be a king of a vast domain,
or be held in Ning's dread sway.

The Nimble Nwee

The nimble Nwee,

swift as a squirrel.

Look, I found a lychee!

(then swipes your thimble)

The Lay of Binty Nestaloo

The Scampering Wooty

The Urso-ootohbee or ‘Scampering Wooty’ is fond of food and attention.

Taming 2009

Binty-Nestaloo pacifies the rock dragon with an ice nectarine.

Distinctions

Lasting effects of my early years as a tongue-speaking, revival-loving, Pentecostal Jesus freak.

You know the Bible 100%!

 

Wow! You are awesome! You are a true Biblical scholar, not just a hearer but a personal reader! The books, the characters, the events, the verses - you know it all! You are fantastic!

Ultimate Bible Quiz
Take More Quizzes

De. No.10: Perfect Form

"And the Lord remembered the form He had perfected by the shore of Canshurlark."
Book of Alternity

Doodle No. 8 : An Indelible Peck

It is unwise to taunt the iron-beaked Chweebong. Though gentle by nature, this truck-sized variety of the Chweebus does not possess the long-suffering virtue of its smaller cousin and will not hesitate to mete out an indelible peck when slighted...just as this tourist found out.

The Porcelain Smith

He adds final touches to an exquisite musical statuette commissioned by the Abbot of Glaston. When complete, the porcelain vessel will adorn the Sanctuary's highest steeple where it will catch an incidental wind and pipe the dreamy, coral-like echo of the Chweebus.

Celebrates An Imminent Walk

This yorky/pomeranian mutt came to us 3 years ago from a rescue shelter and beguiled everyone with her docile and introverted nature. Her name is Chicklet.

Stray into my dream. Leave with a Satay.

Stray into my dream.
Leave with a Satay.

Doodle No.5 : Peekaboo Chweeboo

Chweebuses have an innate curiosity with young children, especially babies. This orphan toddler was crying in his crib when it caught the attention of a passing Chweebus which stayed to amuse and pacify the unhappy child.

Doodle No.4 : The Diminutive Chwee-Ying

The diminutive Chwee-Ying, measuring just 2 inches in length, is a diurnal variety of the Chweebus. This lifeless specimen was discovered at the base of a Valivok tree where it was promptly buried after I made the sketch.

Doodle no. 3 : Figurine of Gilba

"...A delicate jade figurine of the goddess Gilba* measuring just two inches in height.  Recovered from the excavated ruins of an Ecathelon shrine. The minor deity is cradling an animal typically identified as a jokubee, the common blue-beaked patridge. Ornithologists have pointed out however that the jokubee is not native fauna and only appeared in the area 300 years after the end of Ecathelon culture. This has led to new speculation that the bird is perhaps the earliest depiction of a Chweebus. ..."

Chweebian : Vol II. Book xiv, Chapter iii, "Gilba"