Make My Payday!

“...the impudent Chweebian river otter.”

Field journal of Hannah Schmidt 

Curriculum Vitaes

Bulletin: The Ministry congratulates the promotion of Hannah Schmidt to Department Chair of Cryptozoology. The position was last held by her uncle, Prof. Hasphaean Schmidt who has yet to return from his (unauthorized) expedition to the Northern Wilds.

Ms. Schmidt was previously a journalist at the Langston Daily where she wrote award winning feature stories on Chweebian and human interactions.  She was also the youngest human staff to be personally selected by the Cryptid Lapis Leporidae to serve on that famous Chweebian rescue mission during the War of the Locust Queen.  Ms. Schmidt is also the only other human, besides her uncle, to have mastered Chweespeak, a skill that makes up for her lack of academic credentials.

Mother of Wumpus

Binty's Emporium Weekly Feature:

The 1st Anniversary Commerative Plaque of
Queen Wumpus,

Sentry of the Golden Realm,
on her ascension to the Endless Meadow.

Silver etching inlaid with Aucturian marble.

Be the first to own this highly collectible, limited production.

Only 200 available!

Call Mr. Bix Leporidae of 116 Langston Lane

to place your order.

(Pay in Lychees only)

  

New Hire

Mr. Ting (Vulpini),

I have discovered the cause
of the shortfall in
inventory and sales.

See attached ad
which was featured in
the discount section
of the Langston Weekly.

Please advise. 

QM Bix (Leporidae)
Binty's Emporium

Model T

I've been 'drawn' to these figures on my evening train commute. What shall we call them?


Mr. Ting,
No rhymes the reason,
Our Ma'wahng sprang away,
Beep, squeak and giggles,
Gone too, the Chweebian lute and fiddle!

~ Mr. Reinhart.

Chapter 3

(r) Possibly one of the five silver Penterras that once
orbited above the throne of the Locust Queen.
Note the layer of mist swirling around the globe.

"...I emerged partially from the second floor portal which was just wide enough for my hat but not the rest of me to squeeze through. The cryptid was quite tickled by the effect of my predicament.

Glancing about the chamber like a dispossessed periscope, I stopped at the sight of several artifacts which may be the most significant archaeological find of our time. (If I survive the Northern Wilds to present my case) 

The field journal of
Hasphaean Schmidt

Snacks

The Proprietor of Binty's Emporium.

Mr. Bix
muttered something between bites.

Mr. Ting has a stick...

St. Justinian Fairfax Vulpini

"...pretending not to notice the creature that had been silently tailing me since I left the valley; levitating...the apparition didn't alarm me (these are the Northern Wilds after all) ...more baffled by the Cryptid's monastic robe."

Partially legible log entries
of Hasphaean Schmidt

Sharp-beaked Pecarin

"Sing Oh Chweebians,
for the Beams of Da'e*
and bid me shine
your Sapindaceae!"
*Dandelion Nebulae

~~~~~~~~

Yet another startling tomograph, recovered from the wreckage of Professor Schmidt's cabin in the Northern Wilds. The print shows a Chweebian Leporidae (aka Nimble Nwee) harvesting lychees with the aid of a living 'pruner'; a tool fashioned from a pole and the surgical snippers of a sharp-beaked Pecarin.

Marshland Sprite...

"You could see the Dandelion Nebula in those days"
said the wistful Binty Nestaloo

East of Eden

Neither Cherub nor Hesperidae
may guard Salvation's Tree
But Mah-ma-moot the Guileless
most Gentle of the Nwees
~
Host of Seraphims (Lord of Two Trees)

The Road to Reverie Bay...

In which St. John Bartholomew tames
the Nephilim's gruesome appetite

The LoTT is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
When evil men advance against me
to devour my flesh,
they will stumble and fall.

~ Chweebian Psalms 27:1-3

Shang Dynasty Flying Urns...

...are all the rage right now!

There's nothing more thrilling than provoking the local constabulary into a high speed chase!

Now Hiring

Part time Office Manager with Binty's Emporium. Light clerical and phone duties. Generous monetary compensation and sign on bonus (in Lychees)

Before Romulus...

"I daresay that Plutarch’s seemingly original ‘Luperca Wolf Goddess and the Twins’ was in fact lifted from ‘Wumpopo and the Three Princes’."

Prof. Haesphean Schmidt.

Sylphs Take Form...

... for a peck of bread.

Thou shalt not...

Wumpopo

Wumpopo loves a napping spree
through dales by brook
a shimmering dream.

The Lay of Binty Nestaloo

-------------------------

"The elusive Ursidae Ailuropoda Magnus
(or simply, Wooty Bah Wumpus)
is among the few land mammals to have survived
the diluvian event of the Aucturian age.
My research into this resilient animal
has uncovered several genetic traits
which should interest the Ministry's Chimera...[illegible]"

~ last field entry
by the aforementioned and still missing
Prof. Haesphean Schmidt.

The Northern Wilds

Professor Haesphean Schmidt,
noted cryptozoologist and author of
the children best-seller "I Love Me Wumpus!"
was last seen taking an ill-advised trail
into the Northern Wilds.

It wasn't till the following summer
when a frontiersman discovered this
surviving portrait of Schmidt and other valuables
scattered about a debris mound

of the Giant Magpie.

~
Chweebian